Drop the Cake
by Airashii Kasumi
Summary: Fanfiction for the boy love webcomic Paradox on Smack Jeeves. Dake is baking a cake for Eila's wedding, of course with Tommy around, nothing goes as planned.


This is my entry for a contest being held by the webcomic Paradox on Smack Jeeves. Since this is my first story I would really appreciate reviews and constructive criticism is always good. Also please read the webcomic first, it's an awesome read, plus you probably won't get a lot of the references if you don't. Word of caution though it is a Boy Love story.

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Dake was standing in the normally immaculate kitchen which could now only be descried as a disaster zone, and since Dake had been a war before he felt he was well qualified to label it as such. His once tightly pulled back ponytail now had wisps of bright blue falling out of it and seemed to positively wither as his eyes took in the sight. The kitchen, which he prided himself in keeping clean, was now covered in the same mixture of unbaked dough, crumbs, purple and silver frosting, and the odd edible flower, that he was; although he was grateful to admit that he was covered in it to a lesser degree.

It had started out as a simple enough day, no, that wasn't true in the slightest. It was the day before Eila's wedding. Nothing about that day could possibly be defined as simple. Eila who had always been know for collecting oddities had finally added what could be considered the weirdest of all to her collection- a man who was willing to marry her.

Now Dake didn't have anything against the man, if anything he believed their relationship as the sweetest thing he had ever seen, and secretly wished he could have the same. (Although to be perfectly honest if he ever saw Tommy feeding him frozen chocolate-covered bananas on a stick without making a single sexual innuendo and instead whispering sweet nothings into his ear; he would be dragging him to the nearest hospital in a heartbeat.) Not that their relationship was always enough to make normal people gag. Nope, Dake had heard the stories of how those two had met. Something about Eila joining her father on an exhibition for a child's shrunken head to add to his collection (he already had a male and a female one) only to have their ship crash ashore during a storm, Eila going to find help since her father was to injured to move, only to be about to be turned to a shrunken head herself if it were not for a wandering Sithorian; and that was how she had returned home with a man whose face could probably give Utisz a run for his money, but that made Dake look like a saber tooth tiger.

Still Dake thought as he turned away to pull out a washcloth and began the clean up, the day would have gone along a lot easier if it weren't for someone else's significant other. Dake's haggard appearance briefly righted itself as he thought of Tommy's previous antics, his weary eyes laughing, and downtrodden smile briefly lighting up before returning to a scowl.

Tommy. Was the reason the kitchen was currently a mess. Was the reason he was currently a mess. Was the one who should be cleaning up the kitchen. Was currently trying to steal a taste of his masterpiece for the umpteenth time.

And with that Dake snapped.

Twirling around to fully face Tommy his left hand quickly went behind the sugar jar. "Tommy. Put the cake down" For this time it appeared that Tommy would not be content with simply swiping a little icing of the top or trying to commandeer a piece. Nope. This time his mouth was hanging open, hovering inches away from the three tiered masterpiece. His eyes seemed to be practically drooling with his desire to sink his fangs into the purple confection, to lick off the decorative silver frosting, and to feel the crunch of all the hard work Dake had put into the elaborate frosting flowers the night before go to waste.

That is until he saw what Dake was holding in his left hand. That's when his eyes bugged out and his hands began to spasm. Swallowing he quickly managed to get out "um...Dake why do you keep a gun in the kitchen?", before his voice completely failed him.

Keeping his shiny, sterling silver, semi-automatic trained on Tommy, Dake decided that now would be an opportune time to roll his eyes. Sometimes Tommy's stupidity amazed even him. "We keep a weapon hidden in every room in the house, Tommy. Have ever since the killing spree began." Upon seeing Tommy begin to interject he continued. "Yes I am well aware that Utisz won't be eating anybody else's soul, but we decided to leave them in place. As to why there is a gun in the kitchen, well it is one of the room I use the most so it made more sense for it's weapon to be the one I'm the most comfortable with." He explained suddenly feeling as if though he were explaining how one of the popular games he had played as a child worked... "And I swear if you don't gently put that cake down now without altering it any way, shape or form, you'll be getting another bullet through your chest and this time I won't stop you from tying to kill yourself be overdosing on painkillers."

Now normally Tommy would have simply written off the threat and proceeded to do whatever it was that was making Dake so angry, but this time he could see real fury in those normally soft, gently blue eyes. He had to admit though that with his blueberry flavored eyebrows raised almost to his hairline, practically fuming with anger, he looked damn hot.

And that was when he noticed the gobs of purple icing in Dake's hair. Which quickly lead to him contemplating wether blueberry and grape was a good taste combination. He didn't even notice his hands gently setting down the no longer interesting cake as he saw that some of the silver frosting had ended up smeared across Dake's cheek and was rapidly starting to melt thanks to his body heat. his perverse mind quickly labeled it with a flavor that made Dake's internal warning alarms shriek that sexual molestation was imminent and he had better flee while he had a chance. By the time he noticed the cake crumbs on his hands and the flower which was resting haphazardly in his hair (probably the result of one of his previous attempts at caking stealing) he had come to the conclusion that the man standing in front of him while holding a gun (despite being in frilly apron that looked like the kind one was only supposed to put on while serving the food, and being covered in the relatively unmanly color scheme of pale blue, purple, silver, and dear god was that pink!?!) was very sexy indeed. Smirking he asked "and what flavor is the cake pray tell?"

Monetarily confused at the question and Tommy's lack of said cake in has hands Dake lowered his gun before answering "tea".

Tea? Tommy though to himself. Well, Eila always was an odd women after all. But this is one cake i think I will enjoy very much. His smirking growing as he started to move predatorily to a now very concerned Dake.


End file.
